It was a beautiful night on a grassy hill. I was lying with Jam under the stars. He knew all about them and was naming off constellation after constellation. Orion, Lynx, Cancer...Cancer is my zodiac so I was pleased with finding that one. He told me that one star could grow to become a galaxy of billions of new stars. We may even be looking at a universe but not even knowing it.
"Nothing is more beautiful than these stars," I said.
Jam turned. "I can think of one thing that tops it," he murmured.
Skeptical, I decided to humor him. "And what, pray tell, would that be?"
His expression turned soft and loving. "You."
We stared at each other for a few long moments. I broke out in a grin. "You as well."
He chuckled. "You just said these stars were the most beautiful thing, luv,"
"Then I looked at you," I replied, giggling with him.
I moved closer to him and rested my head on his chest. "I love you." He set his arm around my shoulders and massaged my long, pink hair. "I love you as well, Cherry," Nuzzling my head further into his tuxedo, I closed my eyes. I felt safe when I was with the butler. I reached my hand to his chest and gripped his tie. He brought his other hand up and rested it on mine. I blinked a few times as I felt tears forming. One fell from my eye onto Jam's hand.
I looked up to him. "I don't want to go," I whimpered. "I'm so happy here."
"I know you are, Hun. But you know that sooner or later you must go back."
"Why? Reality is full of pain, suffering, problems and blades."
"I know, but Cherry-" his voice grew stern. I listened intently. "I do not care if people say I am unreality. It is true, yes, but not to you. This will sound very cliched, but as long as you believe I am real, that is what I am. You make me real in a very special and unique way that no one can match. Only you know of it. Whenever you are feeling lonely, get lost within your thoughts. I will be waiting."
We were silent for a little while longer. I spotted a shooting star. "Make a wish, Cherry," said Jam. I did. I wished with all my might. I wished that I would stop suffering from mental issues. But I knew that when I greeted reality again it would rear it's ugly head and I would think of blades again. Would it never stop?
"Cherry," said Jam. I looked at him again as he lifted my chin with his thumb and forefinger gently. "Do not let anyone make you believe that you are not beautiful or that you are worth nothing. You are worth everything to me. Do not hurt yourself. Do not ever begin to. Come to me. I will and can make you feel better."
"But you're not real," I sighed. "It almost makes things worse."
"As long as you believe they are worse, yes."
I didn't say anything; I just buried myself in the crook of his shoulder where the shoulder bone connected to his neck. I held his tie tight. I wanted something to hold onto. "I'm so scared..."
"I know. But you have friends and a family who love you."
"I'm being friend zoned by two guys at one time."
"Not by me."
"I have dangerous obsessions."
"You turn to them frequently."
I laughed. "I love you."
"I love you, too. As long as we live I shall love you. You are my Cherry."
I thought. "Hmm...cherry jam."
We were quiet as the realization sunk in. Together our names fit perfectly. I smiled. I propped myself up on one elbow so I could better see Jam's gorgeous face. I felt his hand go behind my head and slowly pull it downward as he kissed my lips. I kissed him back. We kissed as the moonlight shone down like a spotlight.
All of this is true. When I feel down or alone I turn to my thoughts and have a chat with Jam. He's always waiting. This is how I really feel about him. I love him.